Saying No Is Hard


Saying no is hard.

The end of the school year is approaching and that means school field trips, class parties, awards assemblies, teacher appreciation gifts, and so much more.

As a mom we can get overwhelmed just thinking about all that we are about to come face to face with. Deciding what to say yes to and what to let go of is hard. And each type of mom struggles with it differently.

I have fallen on every part of the spectrum as a mom. I stayed home with my kids full time for a while and then went back to teaching and worked a full time job outside the home for many years. I now run a full time business from home. I have had to learn the power of saying no and setting boundaries in all of these different capacities. And let me say…I know how difficult it is to say no. For the people pleaser like me, it can almost be painful.

After reading The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst I have gotten better about saying no to some things so I can say yes to the things that best serve me and my family. Lysa teaches how to make wise decisions in the midst of endless demands.

Wow. Isn’t life full of endless demands as a mom?

As the end of school approaches and the requests start to flood in it is important that we know where we will say yes and where we will have to let someone else take the reigns.

kids on bus

Full Time Working Mom

I think mom guilt is at its high with moms that work full time outside the home. Feeling like you are missing out on almost everything school related can be tough. And then trying to scramble to remember every lunch, school party, teacher note that needs to be signed, and teacher conference can just about send you over the edge.

When I worked outside the home, my main objective was to be involved in the activities that meant the most to my boys. For them, field trips were the most important. They loved having me there tagging along. Instead of taking off of work for class parties or school assemblies, I made sure and saved my personal time off for the days of field trips.

Find what best serves your kiddos and reserve your time for that. If they don’t seem to mind you missing out on field trips, but would love to see you passing out cookies at the class party, make it a point to be involved there. And remember…it is just as valuable to send all the paper goods to the class party as showing up with a platter of handmade goodies.

Stay At Home Mom

Oh my! Before you know it, the stay at home mom can be volunteered for every single event at the school this time of year. Lots of times she gets taken for granted. She doesn’t “work” so she must be available.

I struggled with burn out quickly when I stayed at home with my boys full time. I thought that because I didn’t work outside the home that I had to be a part of every committee, every meeting and every little detail at the school. I quickly learned the importance of saying no to the things that didn’t fit my personality so I would have room for the things that did.

At the end of the year, life as a stay at home mom can get very hectic. Be mindful of how many yes answers you give and be willing to say no to the things that do not serve your family.

Business Owner Working From Home

Because this is the season of life I am in right now, I can easily speak to all of the “work at home” moms out there. I find that I have to say no a lot more often than I ever have before. Although I work from home and have a flexible schedule, I still must clock in a certain amount of work time to be successful in my business. This doesn’t allow me the freedom to be involved in everything at my boys’ school. It does though allow me to say yes to more things than when I worked outside the home.

If this is your situation, my advice to you is to be mindful of why you are saying yes. Are you saying yes to something because you truly feel led to do it and serve in that capacity at the school, or do you feel obligated and are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if you say no? People don’t always understand the schedule that you must keep and that is okay. Choose the things that work within your schedule, be flexible and maybe be willing to stay up late or get up a tad bit early to get your work in so you can enjoy the freedom to be involved at the school more often at the end of the school year. But remember…you are the only one that can create and follow through with the schedule you need to be successful.

Again, choosing the events and activities that serve you and your family best and being willing to say no to the rest are key to your peace during this crazy time of the school year. Set your boundaries, say no when it is wise to do so and choose your best yes!