By far the BIGGEST difference in making Tyler feel like home – intentionally seeking out authentic friendships.
And that’s not always easy.
To be COMPLETELY honest, I am a SUPER friendly extrovert and love to be around people – who also has a really hard time letting people into the final layer of my heart – authentic friendship.
Trust does not come easy for me and it takes me a long time to really find friends.
If you feel like that’s you – I do have good news, you can find friends! It took me a while, but I finally feel like I not only have a group of friends that I enjoy spending time with, but I also know I have a few close friends that I can call at a moment’s notice and they would drop everything to be there for me, and I for them.
Here’s my tips for finding friends worth investing in –
- Skip the drama. If the girl you are getting to know seems to always have “drama”…pass.
- Look for a good listener – real friends want to know about you too! If you find yourself having a hard time getting any words in, she probably isn’t really interested in you, just herself.
- NO GOSSIP – this is my biggy! If she is gossiping TO you, she will gossip ABOUT you. I don’t have time or energy to watch everything I say for fear that my words will get twisted around and make someone else feel bad.
- She is ALWAYS right/perfect/etc. If you are getting to know someone and it seems like your opinion is less valuable than hers, or that everything in her life is the “perfect” situation, or she just makes you feel like you gotta have it all together to be her friend – this is NOT a friend. This is someone you unfollow on Instagram and move on.
- Verbally abusive/toxic/overly clingy/etc. If your radar starts going off that this person is either always making you feel WORSE about yourself or just even a constant energy suck – RUN.
OK, so how CAN you find authentic friendships? Here’s where I started –
- Church. There are LOTS of local churches in the area full of awesome moms. I found some in a Bible study class at our church.
- MOPs. MOPs is an international program with several local chapters. The whole goal of MOPs is to help moms of preschoolers get connected to one another and stay encouraged. I honestly saw a HUGE difference in my emotional health once I joined MOPs. I went from feeling like I was all alone in motherhood to having a real community of friends around me that I could ask all my dumb first time mom questions to without feeling…dumb! lol
- Gym. I actually joined a gym when my second was 1 year old and that made a HUGE difference! I joined a gym that several of my MOPs and Bible study friends worked out at and it was SUCH a blessing! I loved being able to meet up with my friends, get a work out and shower, and know that my kids were being loved on by the gym staff. Plus getting to meet my friends and hang out for an hour a day was awesome!
- Say “YES.” It’s so easy to say “no” to play date invitations. Not that I get a whole lot lol, but when someone asks me to a play date or birthday party, I almost ALWAYS say yes! These are great opportunities to meet other moms and simultaneously enjoy watching your kids make friends! I have met several sweet moms this way. I just simply said “yes!”
So what about you? Do you feel like you are “HOME” or are you still looking for friends? Do you have any positive tips for finding friends?
It’s not always easy, it’s going to take some work, you will definitely run into some stinkers, but I fully believe that you can find authentic friends that will help you feel like you are finally HOME.
From our Guest Writer:
Brittany Jones is a stay at home mother of 2 little girls, lover of pinterest, netflix, crafting and any cooking gadgets that make her life easier. Something random about her? She’s married to her childhood sweetheart. Yup! They have known each other since they were 11 years old and what a crazy, amazing life they have had so far. You can read more about this crazy life on her personal blog, Little Cottage Life.