If your husband is even a LITTLE bit into sports, there is a good chance that he will be watching the big game on Sunday.
And if you are like me, these past 11 years of my marriage, I go with him to the parties just to hang out with the other wives who are also there for the food and socialization.
Because here’s the thing about me – I know NOTHING about football. I went to a school without a football program and I went to college where the football team was brand stinkin’ new and hadn’t gained much traction with the students yet.
So it’s not like I went to an SEC school where some sort of interest in football meant an opportunity for learning about the sport and watching amazing athletes a few years before they went pro.
When my husband started watching football fairly consistently and played fantasy football with his guy friends a few years into our marriage, I just chalked it up to “guy time.”
If you’ve read my bio, then you know that I have a master’s in marriage and family counseling. I spent years studying marriage and family dynamics and, for the benefit of my marriage as well, I read lots of books and studies on the differences between men and women and their unique needs in marriage.
It takes no more than three months of marriage to know that you and your husband have CRAZY different needs!
Well, there’s this one need that men have (that many women don’t necessarily have) that’s referred to as “Recreational Companionship”, or in other books, “Shoulder to Shoulder Time.” In the book “His Needs, Her Needs” it’s one of the top 5 NEEDS for a man in a marriage relationship.
So, I’m sitting on my couch about two years ago doing nothing while my husband is watching his favorite players on TV chase each other around and beat each other up over this little handheld object (this is how it seemed to me), and I realized that I had NOT been engaging my husband in this need he has.
We don’t really have any shared “recreational” activities. I know other couples that play games together, or go to the new superhero movies together, or, watch football together and I realized that my sweet husband who goes out of his way day in and day out to meet my needs was not having this need met.
I felt very convicted that I needed to be a part of his world and start watching this with him.
Because before I started learning about football, the idea of what these grown up millionaire men were doing seem ridiculous. Laughable even. But into this new world I went.
And because I don’t do anything halfway, I dove full force into this world, trying to learn as much as I could. I decided to pick a team or two to follow last year (the Cowboys and the Vikings) and I actually started to watch and listen to sports programming.
I would listen to the commentators during the game to learn more about the players, the plays and why there were making decisions about the different plays, etc.
It’s taken me a couple of years now, but I actually feel like I have a MUCH better understanding of professional football! Do I still think it’s kinda silly from a big picture point of view? Yes, but my husband thinks it’s silly that I watch Hallmark movies!
Men and women are just different. In so many ways.
But if you are married and you want to connect with your husband, I URGE you to find something to do WITH him. Find a common interest that is maybe weighed a little heavy in his favor and start to learn it.
If he’s super into comic books, then dive into that world. If he loves trivia night at your local pizza place, join him! If he loves to do mechanical work, then grab a chair and just sit out there with him for like 45 minutes (done this before too!!).
So if your husband is into sports, take some time before the weekend and learn about the two teams that are competing for the title this year. Cheer with your husband for his favorite team, wear the cute shirt, and avoid the urge to chat with your friends during the game.