Names have been omitted to protect the embarrassed – It’s me – I’m embarrassed.
When raising boys there are some things you hear over and over.
They are noise with dirt on it. Fart jokes are their bread & butter. And of course, they sure love their mamas.
But apparently there some aspects of raising boys the veterans didn’t make mention of – so let me tell you so you won’t be the mom in the ER with her prepubescent son getting looked over for “excessive rubbing.”
Between showers and bedtime, on an average Thursday night, my pre-teen son came to me in great distress.
“My penis is swollen!” he shouted; baring it all.
It was swollen, in a concerning way but I kept calm.
“Did you do something to it, hurt it, fall on something?”
He claimed it didn’t hurt and that it wasn’t like that earlier when he was peeing in the back yard … there were no new foods, no new soaps, nothing unusual to cause an allergic reaction.
I put a message in to the nurse line and called his dad at work looking for plausible explanations from a man’s perspective – nothing.
The swelling grew as did my son’s concern with the fate of his … you know, so we decided just to go in to the ER for answers.
We saw the nurse and I went through the spiel of no new soaps or foods, no pain, no fever, no previous issues, no idea what’s going on …
“Were you scrubbing or rubbing a lot,– maybe in the shower?” the nurse asked.
He told her he washed himself.
She took a quick look, his cheeks blushed with embarrassment and she excused herself to consult with the doctor.
The doctor came in and did a quick exam and said “So it doesn’t look infected. This just seems to be swollen from some trauma from excessive rubbing, probably while he was in the shower …”
It seemed like a delicate code he was explaining this in.
“Trauma” threw me off for a second but the more “excessive rubbing” was mentioned, I caught on.
But I have two younger boys at home – give it to me straight doctor!
“Did I just bring him in here for doing … young man things?!”
The doctor somberly nodded.
I looked to the nurse, who looked me square in the eyes, “Yep.”
So that happened.
Oh, dear moms of boys, THAT can happen!
There are definitely reasons why a swollen penis would warrant an ER visit. This was not it.
Sudden swelling, without pain, that doesn’t last too long – maybe you don’t need a doctor to tell you the cause of that.
Trust your mom-tuition of course, but I’m just sharing what I wish somebody would’ve shared with me.
Now excuse me, I have to go prep for talks I’m not yet ready to have with a certain adolescent boy.